White And Blue

Stuck behind the wheel of the long bed I was wondering what I looked like from the outside. What does my white striped blue truck look like cruising down this highway? I almost lost focus on the road for a minute. I was moving. I was cruising the highway like I hadn't done in quite some time but I was also relocating. This was my last haul. After this, I'm completely finished. There's nothing left for me now but to sit at my new home, relax, and unpack.

I had no one to bid farewell to in my town. I was done there. I could never figure out why no one ever wanted me there. But now I'm getting a fresh start and this time I'm just going to avoid people all together. It'll be just me. I sighed at the bittersweet thought. I was coming through the city of a person I could almost call friend. One road off the highway, I pulled into the parking lot of a small shopping center. There he was already, on his skateboard bouncing off street cones.

"Hey man!" he shouted, "Already packed up huh? Want to chill a little longer before you go?"

"Sure man, I'm not in a rush yet!" I spoke with an honest smile. He had always been the type to drift around. His brother even made a living doing it. Well, his brother actually had a job. I then noticed I wasn't actually in a parking space as I just pulled up to where he was.

“Can I leave my truck here?” I asked.

“Sure man, I work here so it's cool.” he said with confidence. “It's a truck, so no one is gonna ask questions.” So I left it parked. We chatted for awhile about our disdain for the town and the state. We laughed over a few antics of the past. For a guy that I could never rely on, he wasn't a bad fellow. At least he of all people would always eventually come to me at some point and say thanks for looking out. It was getting late. The sun was starting to set. I told him I wanted to get back on the road to enjoy the peace of the night. We slapped a high-five and slid into a half hug.

“I'll miss you dude!” he shouted.

“I won't forget you.” I said affectionately. A moment later I realized how one could be offended by such a remark. Leave to me to give an autistic response as usual. He seemed to appreciate the comment as he jumped onto his skateboard. He took off and his smiling presence drifted into the background.

“Fuck.” I thought out loud. I started feeling cloudy for some reason. I drove the truck around and parked it near a fence wrapped around the side of the shopping center. I walked into the side store to get some caffeine and cigarettes. It felt like everyone was staring at me. I started feeling extremely anxious. Why now? What triggered this? Then I started getting a sense of threat. I scanned the room. Everything appeared safe. Why was my inner radar ticking? I began to walk back outside.

“Oh shit, as a I barely live and breathe!”

“Hey.” I said with a monotone disgust. It was this guy. Ugh, I thought. He was one of those guys that I couldn't stand but for some reason always ended up hanging around. As usual, he was half drunk, half high, and half way between jail and half way house. He wasn't an evil guy exactly. He just had a tendency to draw in trouble. He wasn't always selfish, but was always self centered. He believed that while he didn't know everything, he understood everything. I couldn't help but appreciate his resiliency; Even his ignorance to a degree. I figured I'd give him a minute.

We sat in his car while smoking cigarettes and listening to the radio. My radar started ticking again. I almost wanted to ask him if he had any weed. It felt like I needed a drink or something to calm me down. He steps out of his beat up car for a second to casually talk to a guy I didn't even know. I notice someone in a long dark coat leaning against the wall of the store whispering to someone else while eying me. The man in the coat walks off and suddenly this guy in a blue and white striped shirt flips up an MP-5 complete with handle grip and rail mounted sight.

As soon as I saw the tip of the barrel I instinctively dove to the side as the 9mm rounds started whirring through. As the glass broke, I could hear the whips of metal hitting inside. For a moment it felt like the Earth froze and I could see the trails and paths of all the rounds flying through. The trails swirled as if every single part of the path was the metal itself. The threat of life had triggered my instincts but I saw a unity in destruction. There was a moment of peace in the chaos, a serene appreciation then blackness.

I woke up slightly dizzy. I was still sitting in passenger side of the car. With adrenaline flaring I ducked down momentarily to listen. I then popped my head up and looked around. I wondered what the hell happened. I saw holes in the windshield and dash of the car all grouped on my side. This was meant for me. Then I remembered the eye contact from the man in the striped shirt. I didn't recognize him. But what about the other guy in the jacket? I didn't know him either. I picked up a piece of metal and plugged it into a hole in the glove box. I realized I was alive.

I checked myself thoroughly and found only a single scratch across my face. That must have been what knocked me out. The low morning sun peered through the side window. I hopped out disoriented. I brushed a little glass off my still clean clothes. I looked around. I had to have been out all night. I saw a few cars in the parking lot. Grocery store employees were either waiting outside smoking cigarettes or pushing shopping carts. Did no one hear that? How did this go unnoticed? Why was I left here?

I decided that if everyone else wanted it that way I did too. I walked to get my truck but it was gone, or at least I think it was. In its place was a blue flatbed. The weird thing was is that all my stuff was on top of it strapped down. Now I'm starting to think I'm going crazy. I noticed that only one box was missing. I figured the hell with it. It was nothing of importance. I look down at my keys and think for a second.

I walk up to the truck door and slide my key in. I turn it slowly until it clicks. Strange, I thought to myself. The door unlocks and I hop in. I put the key in the ignition. “What the hell is going on?” I thought out loud as the truck started up. I couldn't explain it but I took off headed to my original destination. The sun was beating down. I felt blinded but cold at the same time. Nothing felt right. I drove for what seemed like a lifetime. It was already night.

It hit me suddenly. I had been driving all day. I never even thought to go to a hospital, or find out what happened the other night. I should have been to my destination by now. I grew more and more frustrated thinking about it. Suddenly the truck started weaving. I looked around and couldn't figure it out. I slowed my speed and rolled the window down. Nothing. Out of nowhere I went into a drift. My adrenaline was rushing, my heart was pumping, but I was focused. I spun the heavy wheel into a counter steer. I had quickly corrected the vehicle but everything on the back flew off.

I stopped in the middle of the empty road. I hopped out and looked around. The bed was empty. I was confused. Nothing made sense. My anxiety took hold and I fell to the ground. I looked up to an empty night sky. There were no clouds, no stars, nothing. With my head leaning against the wheel of the truck I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I felt empty. There was no response, just thoughts. There was just an endless flow of confusing thoughts. Suddenly I realized I was still alive. I felt an overwhelming sense of futility as I stared into nothingness. I felt like a sad child filled with uncertainty and awe unable to cry in fear of being scolded. It started to rain.